<3

My bf - jimmy called me on my phone late last night at 11 pm or something, he had a terrible news to tell. I wondered what it was, if he had to cancel the trip or something. But it was worse than that... Then he said that someone had died recently, the girl work at a place called Linden. She died a week ago. And a name with Patrick told jimmy that. And Jimmy knew that i knew Carolina and wanted me to know as fast as it could be. So that i knew too.

I couldn't believe what i was hearing and i for a moment just didn't say anything, i had to think why she did it!? And was it really true that she was gone? I was in chock and my tears just started to flow. Jimmy asked are u there? ... i had to just breath out the air i was holding in.

We talked for an hour i think, mostly i cried of coars... I couldn't believe it!?

Carolina told me before months before that she was moving to another place (Småland) and that she'll live there to feel better. And after she went down to Linden - we didn't talked much at all... I was mad at her for not telling the thruth about something. And then she just quit Linden and never said god bye. Then months later i asked about her what she's doing if anyone knew how she was and how's it going with her. Then Anette told me and my girlfriend that we could write to her. (we never did unfortenely) And that she could say hello from us if they would talk to her on phone.

I'm just thinking about the memory i got with Carolina and how much fun we had together. I have pics with her which i'm gladly happy for! =) It was from last year 2008.

She was the first person i became friends with when i started to work in the same place.
She was very shy in the begining, i recognized her cause she knew my friend Mikaela. And asked her about if it was her, who knew Mikaela. And she said yes. Then she opened up a little and we started to chat and chat and have alot of fun. And after awail she wanted us to hang out outside the work. And me was yea of coars. It was alot of fun! :D And MAN we had a blast like everytime we were together.

I really miss those days when we just hanged out on the beach and just taned ourself and was to afraid to go into the water because it was so cold... hehe
I have alot of memorize with her and in a year - 2008 it happened alot for us! We hanged out with each other like almost everyday that summer. And I was very happy for it! =) I was so happy that i found someone who wanted to be with me 24 hours per day at least almost everyday...

And now... It feel so lonely without her even if we didn't talk much in the end. I thought she would come back after 3 months like she thought she would too.

I try to work it out - to not cry that much, but maybe it's my therapi to do cry out my feelings. It helped before. But now i don't know, it feels like i want to talk and associate with people who knew her too and just hug them aswell.

I called my friend Mikaela and asked her if we could meet today and i tried to tell her but i couldn't, jimmy had to take over - cause my tears were starting to flow again.
She did came and met me and talked a little. And it acctually helped alot!
But after awail i started to flow tears again. ='(

I will miss Caolina forever, she'll be in my heart forever, and i hope that she knew that i liked her alot, cause i really really did! <3

Rest In Peace Carro! <3
You'll forever be in my heart! <3

Carro (the green one) <3

Jag kom in på Ålsta folkhögskola! Tjohooo! ÄNTLIGEN en skola som tar in mej! YES yes yes!!! ååååååååååååååååh så roligt, blev helt bah va? va står det liksom på mejlet jag fick idag. HOn som gav mej beskedet sa då att hon hade skickat me anmälnings blanketten idag å jag bah OMG hon skickade mejlet idag + att hon skickade blanketten idag per post. Å jag bah OMG Det här e ju dunder NICE liksom!

Å det e tom min namnsdag idag.... Å åsa på Floda c hon bah shit va kul vilken namnsdag du fick å vilken fin överaskning! :D jag bah ja det e helt sjukt nice! :D :D :D

Så himla roligt va! :D
Va kommer JImmy säga om detta? vi snackade lite igår om det å då va ledsen. Såklart det kan jag ju förstå åsen att jag följer ju bah min dröm, Om att få göra det jag alltid velat göra liksom! :D Såååå himla glad!


eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee säger jag bah!!!! ÄNTLIGEN kommer jag ifrån detta röttna stället! yes yes yes!!!!

bye bye ska käka lunch nu sen lunch vakna sent. bye xoxo jess

Just nu skriver jag en grej till älsklingen. Vill ge honom nånting tillbaka för allt han gett mej! Men d e dock på engelska. Jag e bäst på engelska när d gäller att skriva grejer på engelska. D låter liksom mycke bättre på något sätt å sen att d känns mer liksom coolare ;) Men jag ska översätta d till svenska me å se om d låter bättre den här gången på svenska. D kanske har vänt sig nu. Me tanke på att jag skriver så mycke på svenska nu för tiden. D kan man ju tom. Se på bloggen! =D Sen tänkte jag ge en ros till honom me. Men vet inte. Känns mer coolare å göra nått själv istället för å köpa en grej å ge bort. Jag e mer för att göra grejer till folk mer än att köpa faktiskt. Jag e ju så kreativ av mej så. D e ju bra d! =D Men allvarligt talat så kan jag inte rita en ros. E as dålig på d, har försökt å försökt men d funkar liksom inte. D blir änna inte bra liksom. =S Aja jag kommer la alltid på nått iaf. Å göra/rita. =D

Har vart i stan idag me jimmy. Å skaffa pass till honom. Ska kanske åka utomlands. Han har aldrig vart utomlands innan... =S iaf. Så kommer d ta en vecka innan d e färdigt. Ja d va ju snabbt de kunde fixa d nu för tiden. Förut fick man ju vänta högst 3-4 veckor innan man fick d! Sjukt nog. Men d e ju bra att de har bättrat sej iaf. =D gick runt i affärer å sen åt kyckling sallad å sushi. D va smaskens! =D å fått förnyat tåg kort me. Älsklingen betala as always! Han e för generös Asså! =D så nu typ på fredag eller nått ska vi kolla på resa en sista minuten resa me. =) d ska bli kul. Å sen hörde jag från älsklingen att han har hela huset för sig själv i en vecka fr. På lördag. =D så ska la vara där typ hela tiden! =D iaf. På helgen! =D d ska bli kul!

Va ute på havet igår me emelie. D va skönt. Vi va någonstans i Askim. D va jätte vackert där. Å vattnet i havet va faktiskt varmare än i sjön. Helt sjukt egentligen! Iaf. D va värt å doppa sej! =D riktigt nice!

Frukosten va större än igår. Idag åt jag Smoothie på jordgubbar, yoghurt me skivade päron bitar å banan + ett kokt ägg. Idag blir d konditionsträning. Cykla alltså! Jag har stor träningsverk från igår. Gör ont i bena, mage å insidan av låren. Så jag stretchade inte tillräckligt igår antar jag. Eller så tränade jag så hårt att d blev så. Aja får se hur d blir när jag hoppar på cykeln nu. Ha d! Puss