<3

My bf - jimmy called me on my phone late last night at 11 pm or something, he had a terrible news to tell. I wondered what it was, if he had to cancel the trip or something. But it was worse than that... Then he said that someone had died recently, the girl work at a place called Linden. She died a week ago. And a name with Patrick told jimmy that. And Jimmy knew that i knew Carolina and wanted me to know as fast as it could be. So that i knew too.

I couldn't believe what i was hearing and i for a moment just didn't say anything, i had to think why she did it!? And was it really true that she was gone? I was in chock and my tears just started to flow. Jimmy asked are u there? ... i had to just breath out the air i was holding in.

We talked for an hour i think, mostly i cried of coars... I couldn't believe it!?

Carolina told me before months before that she was moving to another place (Småland) and that she'll live there to feel better. And after she went down to Linden - we didn't talked much at all... I was mad at her for not telling the thruth about something. And then she just quit Linden and never said god bye. Then months later i asked about her what she's doing if anyone knew how she was and how's it going with her. Then Anette told me and my girlfriend that we could write to her. (we never did unfortenely) And that she could say hello from us if they would talk to her on phone.

I'm just thinking about the memory i got with Carolina and how much fun we had together. I have pics with her which i'm gladly happy for! =) It was from last year 2008.

She was the first person i became friends with when i started to work in the same place.
She was very shy in the begining, i recognized her cause she knew my friend Mikaela. And asked her about if it was her, who knew Mikaela. And she said yes. Then she opened up a little and we started to chat and chat and have alot of fun. And after awail she wanted us to hang out outside the work. And me was yea of coars. It was alot of fun! :D And MAN we had a blast like everytime we were together.

I really miss those days when we just hanged out on the beach and just taned ourself and was to afraid to go into the water because it was so cold... hehe
I have alot of memorize with her and in a year - 2008 it happened alot for us! We hanged out with each other like almost everyday that summer. And I was very happy for it! =) I was so happy that i found someone who wanted to be with me 24 hours per day at least almost everyday...

And now... It feel so lonely without her even if we didn't talk much in the end. I thought she would come back after 3 months like she thought she would too.

I try to work it out - to not cry that much, but maybe it's my therapi to do cry out my feelings. It helped before. But now i don't know, it feels like i want to talk and associate with people who knew her too and just hug them aswell.

I called my friend Mikaela and asked her if we could meet today and i tried to tell her but i couldn't, jimmy had to take over - cause my tears were starting to flow again.
She did came and met me and talked a little. And it acctually helped alot!
But after awail i started to flow tears again. ='(

I will miss Caolina forever, she'll be in my heart forever, and i hope that she knew that i liked her alot, cause i really really did! <3

Rest In Peace Carro! <3
You'll forever be in my heart! <3

Carro (the green one) <3